Adjusting to Life With a Newborn: 12 Ways to Enjoy It
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While the birth of your baby is amazing and you are finally past the dreadful wait (and weight) of the third trimester, adding a new little person to your life can be challenging! Especially since they depend completely on you and your partner.
So how do you keep a smile on your face while adjusting to life with a newborn? Below are a few ideas that may help you to endure and enjoy the first few months postpartum, whether this is your first or fifth baby.
1. Listen to your favorite music.
Music is an easy, cheap way to help you smile while adjusting to life with a newborn. The positive effects of dopamine that come from music can lift your spirits and help you feel confident even when life with a newborn is hard.
I love having Alexa around to play music whenever I want it, whether it’s on my phone or in the kitchen. It’s so accessible and easy to ask her to play something!
2. Soak in a warm bath.
I did this many times before AND after giving birth. Before being pregnant, I rarely took baths. They just seemed like too much of a hassle.
But when I just needed a moment to myself to relax, I realized that baths were a great option. They don’t have to take more than 10 minutes, and you don’t even need to put in fancy bath bombs or bubble bath to make yourself feel good. Plain old water was always good enough for me!
3. Go on a date with or without the baby.
Part of adjusting to life with a newborn includes making time for your relationship with your spouse.
While it is important to have one-on-one time with your spouse, sometimes it can be difficult to make arrangements for the baby to be taken care of. Don’t let this stop you from spending time together!
My husband and I have been on many dates where our baby was the third wheel. It isn’t so bad when they are newborns because they mostly sleep the entire time; it doesn’t even feel like they are with you!
If you find yourselves struggling with your relationship while getting used to newborn life, then I highly recommend reading Karen Kleiman’s book, What About Us? (pictured below.)
4. Dance with your husband.
The baby is finally asleep! (Or is just sitting calmly.) Take this opportunity to have a spontaneous romantic moment with your spouse: turn on some music, dim the lights (or not), and DANCE! Slow dance, Latin, swing, whatever you want! Don’t feel like you need to have high expectations either. This is a chance to connect; no need to impress anyone but each other. 😉
5. Hang out with a friend.
Life with a newborn can make it hard to spend time with other people in your life. Make time with a friend, even if your newborn tags along! Go out to eat, have a game night, get a pedicure, or just chat! Anything that will help you connect with your friend and lift your spirits.
6. Share your birth story with a family member or friend.
Feel like you need to process your birth experience, whether traumatic or peaceful? Sometimes adjusting to life with a newborn is made easier when you have someone who you can do this with.
Opening up to a friend you know and trust about your birth story can be very therapeutic and refreshing. (If you want to go into all the dirty details, just make sure they are comfortable with that beforehand.)
7. Write in a journal.
Share your honest feelings with a trusted diary. This can help you process how your life is going with the many emotions that come from having a newborn.
Write down all the good, the bad, and the in between. Write down what you are grateful for and what is hard about parenting. Take notes of precious moments you never want to forget, and use this space to process your thoughts. Writing in a journal is very helpful postpartum care and can help you get to know yourself better.
If you aren’t sure where to start, this postpartum guided journal is a great option that contains prompts to help you know what to write.
8. Read or listen to a good book.
During and right after my first pregnancy, my husband and I read Harry Potter to each other. This helped me to relax a bit while I temporarily escaped my own world. Chase would often read to me while I was nursing, driving, cleaning, or cooking dinner.
Listening and reading books continues to be a huge help to me while adjusting to newborn life with our second daughter. Books have helped me to stay motivated and enjoy the mundane but necessary parts of life that come from newborn life and life in general.
Books to help you enjoy newborn life:
1. Audible Audiobooks
Amazon’s Audible has a wide selection of audiobooks. I love listening to audiobooks as a mom because I can multi-task and am not confined to sitting down and looking at a book.
If you aren’t sure you want to pay the money for Audible, then you can do a free trial of Audible Premium Plus and get up to two free audiobooks!
2. Books by Karen Kleiman
Karen Kleiman has written many books about dealing with postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and normal scary thoughts as a new mom. (You can see a list of them here.)
I absolutely loved reading her book, Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts. There are lots of illustrations that make it fun and easy to read. It will also help you feel validated for your negative thoughts as a new mom and understand how to deal with them.
3. Fantasy books
If you’re like me and love Harry Potter, then maybe getting into the fantasy world helps you cope with change. Dig into the latest YA fantasy book series, or read one of your old favorites. (The Michael Vey series helped me a lot while adjusting to life with our second newborn!)
4. Libby
The Libby app is a great option if you want to read or listen to free books! All you need is a library card from your local library to get connected. (You can check it out here!)
9. Don’t stress about the mess.
Those first few days postpartum can feel like your world is out of control.
All you want to do is sleep or watch your favorite TV series, but the dishes still need to be washed and you are running out of clean clothes. On top of that, you have a little human who needs your constant care.
Do yourself a favor and don’t stress about the messy house. Get paper plates and plastic utensils if you have to! Paper plates and bowls were a huge help to us after we had our second baby. Less dishes dirtied, less mess to clean!
Remember that this is not normal life; you are just in the process of getting back to normal one day or one week at a time.
10. Congratulate yourself on small achievements.
During my first couple weeks adjusting to life with a newborn, all I wanted to wear were sweats and my husband’s t-shirts, so that’s what I did! I didn’t pressure myself to get back into my cute clothes right away.
Once I did finally put on a pair of jeans or wear a bra for the first time after having a baby, I congratulated myself. I considered it an accomplishment that I was slowly getting back into my normal life. However, I didn’t let myself get down if I had a day or two where I needed my comfy clothes again.
11. Pamper yourself.
Make yourself feel good! You just did something that not everyone can do- you made a human! So treat yourself to a massage, a new hair-do, a pedicure, or whatever helps you feel beautiful and refreshed!
Pampering yourself may also mean wearing comfy clothes and not pressuring yourself to get back into your cute clothes. It may also mean learning to love your postpartum body.
12. Write down the things you love about your baby.
While it can be a hard adjustment to care for a newborn, don’t let these precious moments go unnoticed!
Take a few minutes (especially when you may be wishing your baby was back inside your womb) to write down what you love about your baby. Who does he/she look like? What is your favorite feature about him/her? Have you seen any signs of what their personality may be?
This is a great mindfulness exercise that can help you slow down and really see your baby. It is especially helpful if you have other children and are trying to focus on their needs as well.
You got this, Mama!
I know this is hard, and wonderful, and crazy, and amazing, and everything you did and didn’t expect. Amidst all the craziness and newness, remember that you are awesome and you can do this!
Take one day at a time, don’t for get to ask for help, and make sure to give yourself what you need.
What have you found to be helpful in adjusting to life with a newborn? I’d love to read your thoughts in the comments below!
Loved this post! It’s so easy to neglect ourselves once we have children. These are some simple and doable ways to give ourselves the self care we need, even with little ones around. Thanks for sharing!
Glad you enjoyed it, Jessica!