The #1 Most Effective Way to be a Happy Mom and Wife
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As you go about trying to meet your kids’ needs, your husband’s needs, and your own needs, life can get exhausting! You may feel tired, broken down, drained, grumpy, and feel unfulfilled with your life.
Don’t feel bad if you are tired with the life you have and want a change. It just means exactly that – that you need a change.
If you want to know how to be a happy mom and wife, then you need to put some effort into it. It takes work, but not as much as you might think.
Are you willing to work for the joy you are missing out on? Are you willing to do what it takes to be a happy mom and wife?
If so, then let me share with you how you can find happiness that will last.
How can I be a Happy Mom and Wife?
So, how can you find happiness as a mom and wife? The answer is simple. BE GRATEFUL.
Be a grateful mom.
Be a grateful wife.
Be a grateful daughter of God.
Express gratitude to and for God, your husband, and your children regularly.
Learn to live a life filled with gratitude. Take pleasure in the small, everyday wonders.
Being grateful will bless those you thank, but it will bless you most of all.
What do the scriptures say about being a grateful mom and wife?
It is obvious from scripture that our Heavenly Father wants us to be grateful. He knows that gratitude is the path to happiness, which is why He wants us to be grateful.
Here are a few verses from The Holy Bible and The Book of Mormon about being a grateful mom and wife.
“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”
1 Thessalonians 5:18, KJV
What we can learn from this verse: God wants you to give thanks in all circumstances. Even when life is full of crazy schedules and needy children, He wants you to be a grateful mom and wife.
“This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.”
Psalm 118:24, KJV
What we can learn from this verse: God has given us every day, including today. If it is from God, then it is good. So find the good in today that He has already given you.
“O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.”
Psalm 107:1, KJV
What we can learn from this verse: God will never stop caring about us and wanting to help us. Thanking Him for what He has already given you can help you see that He continues to bless you each day. You can count on God to always be there for you, even when you mess up.
“…O how you ought to thank your heavenly King!
“I say unto you, my brethren, that if you should render all the thanks and praise which your whole soul has power to possess, to that God who has created you, and has kept and preserved you, and has caused that ye should rejoice, and has granted that ye should live in peace one with another…
“…and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants.”
Mosiah 2:19-21, The Book of Mormon
What we can learn from this verse: God has given you so much that you can never thank Him enough or serve Him enough to repay Him. So give thanks to God always!
“Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.”
Alma 37:37, The Book of Mormon
What we can learn from this verse: Pay attention to what you pray for (for example, watching over you in your sleep) so that you can thank Him later for that blessing. That gratitude will lift you up in the hard times of marriage and motherhood and help you be “lifted up at the last day” to live with God.
How to be a Grateful Mom and Wife
Did you know that being grateful has the power to help you be happier and have better mental health? If you want to start on the road to becoming a happy mom and wife, then let me give you some ideas on how to incorporate gratitude into your life.
1) Keep a gratitude journal.
The act of writing something down helps engrain it into your memory more effectively.
When I take the time to write (or type) what I am grateful for, I am more likely to remember it and take that memory with me into the next day.
The less I write down, the less good I remember and the easier it is to feel discouraged.
A gratitude journal can be in many forms. Here are a few ideas:
- A notebook you keep next to your bed.
- Your regular journal where you add in what you are thankful for that day
- A diary app on your phone (I use this one)
- Notes on your phone
- A single piece of paper that you have taped to your wall/mirror
- A small notepad
I promise you the effort of picking up a pen or opening an app on your phone will be worth it! As you do this regularly, you will notice that you are a happier mom and wife!
2) Notice the good your husband and kids do.
Instead of constantly correcting your family when they do something wrong (or not your way), try noticing (verbally and non-verbally) what they are doing well. You may be surprised at how much you take that family member for granted!
This can especially help you feel better if you have been frustrated or angry with your husband or kids. When I am upset with my husband, I try to remember all the good he has done and does do. When I do that, I am a much happier wife.
You might also like: 3 Simple Steps to a Satisfying Marriage
3) Say thank you out loud often.
When you say thank you, you aren’t just saying thank you. You are expressing your appreciation for that person and acknowledging the good they have done. So saying it out loud really does make a difference.
You are also giving yourself an opportunity to look beyond yourself and into the lives of others. When you fixate on your own life, it is too easy to feel self-pity, ungrateful, and grumpy.
Remember what Jesus promised:
“For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.”
Matthew 16:25, KJV
You might also like: How to Stop Being a Nagging Wife (and quit being annoyed with your husband)
4) Write thank-you notes to individual family members.
A thank-you note doesn’t have to be long and elaborate. It could be a sticky note on the mirror, or a napkin secretly put into a lunch.
Those who receive your notes will feel your love more, and you will find joy recognizing more of the good so you can write more thank-you notes.
You may also find this exercise to be fun for you! You may find yourself wanting to find opportunities to write thank you notes to your husband and kids.
5) Thank God for your blessings.
Before asking God for guidance and blessings, thank Him for specific blessings from that day. This will help you remember how good He is and what He has done for you.
Yes, I’m sure our Father in Heaven loves it when we thank Him. But it can also make you a happy mom and wife when you remember God’s hand in your life supporting you.
It is most effective when you thank God for specific things that happened that day. Maybe He brought to your memory an appointment you almost forgot, or maybe He helped you stay calm when a child was throwing a tantrum. Just remembering these moments and thanking God for them will help you be a much more confident and happy mom and wife!
6) Reflect on the good of the day with your family.
One of the best ways to end the day is by reflecting on the good that happened. I like to do this before bed with individual family members, but it can also be done at the dinner table with everyone.
I love telling my toddler how much I enjoyed playing with her or how fun it was to read books together. And I can tell she loves it too!
I also enjoy reflecting on the good with my husband before going to bed. We don’t do it every day, but when we do it feels like we are sharing a special gift with each other; the gift of gratitude and sharing a life together.
Reflecting on the good moments not only helps me be a happy mom and wife, but it helps my children learn how to remember the good and be grateful.
7) Take time to be still and appreciate what is right in front of you.
Too often we chase happiness away by looking in all the wrong places. I know I sometimes get so caught up in cleaning and cooking and appointments that I forget the treasures right in front of me.
Turn off the music, put away your book, walk away if needed, and look around at all the wonders (including your kids and husband) in front of you.
When I let myself stop to watch my girls playing nicely together, I enjoy being a mom so much more. When my husband and I sit and talk just to talk, I love being married to him more.
Another rare quiet time that I enjoy is watching my kids sleep or cuddling with them. When I get that opportunity, I let myself gaze at their beautiful faces and feel so glad that God gave them to me. (I will sometimes do this with my husband too!)
8) Write an “I love” poem.
Don’t freak out when I say “poem!” This actually doesn’t require any rhyming or stanzas or anything, just your own words of what you love.
I got this idea from Ashley Gadd in her inspiring book, Create Anyway.
Here is my version of “I Love”:
I love the way my 3-year-old puts her hands on her hips when she talks, like she’s trying to be a grown-up.
I love holding hands with my husband while we pray before bed.
I love the way my baby laughs when I tickle her or play peek-a-boo.
I love having a freshly made meal for my family ready right as my husband walks through the door.
I love the feeling I get when I let myself gaze up in wonder at the mountains I can see from our backyard.
I love friends I can rely on when I need my kids watched or entertained.
I love how I feel when I go to the Temple and can bask in the love of God with no interruptions or distractions.
I love cuddling my girls after they wake up.
I love doing chores with my girls and seeing them make work fun.
I love the time I can spend with my husband, with and without children.
I love seeing my husband play with our girls and make them laugh.
I love watching my 3-year-old learn how to write her name.
I love seeing my 3-year-old learn how to handle her emotions in a healthy way.
I love when I receive a prompting from the Holy Ghost and act on it.
I love when I notice God guiding me in my motherhood journey so I can be a happy mom and wife.
I love writing down all the things I love about my family.
I love being present with my kids and my husband.
I love that I can choose to be a happy mom and wife, even when it is hard.
I love the moments where my husband and I laugh so hard we can’t breathe.
I love that Jesus can be in every aspect of my life.
I love being grateful.
Create your own!
I encourage you to try it out! Write down or type out as many sentences you want starting with “I love”. You may find it is hard to stop once you get started!
When you are finished, you can post it on social media and encourage others to do their own “I Love” poem, or you can keep it to yourself. Maybe you could put it on a mirror you’d see regularly or stick it in your journal to look back on.
The best part about this exercise is that you can repeat it in the future! Whenever you need a pick-me-up and want to be a happier mom and wife, then write a new poem!
You might also like: The Ultimate Guide to be a Happy Stay-at-Home Mom
The Power of Gratitude
I know someone who was struggling with a relationship with a family member. She had a hard time looking past the negative experiences of the past and remembering the positive. She prayed for help to heal and see the good, and she felt inspired to say “thank you” for specific things.
As she thanked this family member for the one thing she was planning to share, somehow other wonderful memories began to flood her mind. The more she thanked, the more her mind was filled with the good things that had once been buried. She considered it a miracle—a true gift from God.
I promise you that as you go about your day intentionally being grateful, you will be a happier mom and wife.
You will find healing in your relationships.
You will find the hope of a brighter day today.
You will notice God’s hand in your life more.
You will feel more connected to your husband and children.
You will enjoy being with your family more.
You will have more energy and motivation.
You will be a happy mom and wife.
The ball is 100% in your court. Start being grateful today and find the happiness God can give you.
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