Tips For a Smooth Transition to a Mom of 3

Currently I have been going through the transition of becoming a mom of 3. While it has been challenging at times, it has also been surprisingly wonderful and (dare I say) sometimes easy!

While I am sometimes physically exhausted, I have remained mostly emotionally and mentally stable. In my opinion, mental and emotional health make all the difference in the life of a mom.

There was a lot I learned during my third pregnancy about self-care and self-love that helped me prepare to be a mom of 3. I hope some of the wisdom that has helped me to transition smoothly to 3 kids will help you as well.

Tips to Thrive Emotionally as a New Mom of 3

1) Pray for help and expect God to help you.

If you are familiar with my blog, you might have noticed that prayer is the number one tip I share for almost everything. That’s because God is your number one fan and He is there to help you! He is just waiting for you to ask. 🙂

I have felt my Father in Heaven help me so much during my transition to becoming a mom of 3. As I strengthen and maintain my relationship with Him through prayer, it’s easier for me to hear Him speak to me and see His hand in my life. 

The help God gives you will be unique to you, because you and your family are unique. So reach out to Him in faith that He will reach back out with His all-knowing wisdom and everlasting love.

2) Take care of yourself first as much as possible.

Next to praying to God for help, this is the next most important tip when becoming a mom of 3.

You’ve probably heard the analogy of putting your own oxygen mask on before helping your child with their’s, and that 100% applies here. Sure, you will often need to drop everything when there’s a tantrum, a bloody knee, or a hungry baby. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t make an extra effort to care for yourself first during the less hectic moments.

You won’t be able to meet all of your needs before caring for your kids, but you can meet at least one of your needs.

I have found that showering and getting dressed before starting the kids’ morning routines helps me feel more awake, ready for the day, and happy. What about the days where I sleep in and the kids wake me up wanting my immediate attention? Simple solution: I turn on Bluey, say my morning prayers, take a one-episode shower, get dressed, and then help everyone else. It makes a world of difference!

Here are other ways you can put your needs before your kids’ needs:

• If you are sensitive to being hungry, eat a quick snack before feeding everyone else. 
• Shower while the kids are occupied (or mostly not upset).
• Get a drink of water when you’re thirsty, even if it means you have to stop everything else you are doing.
• Work the day around your exercise routine instead of working your exercise routine around your kids’ day.
• Turn on a show for the kids when you need extra time to sleep, relax, or just have a moment to yourself. 

3) It’s ok to tell your kids or husband, “I can’t right now.”

As a mom of 3, you simply cannot meet every request and perform every task.

In her book, “The Empowered Wife,” Laura Doyle encourages women to say, “I can’t.” If you are overwhelmed, tired, or overly stressed, this simple statement will save you a lot of pain. 

While at first it may be hard to say, “I can’t”, you’ll soon find that it gives you more freedom and room to breathe.

For example, you should not be trying to nurse a baby while getting your toddler a snack. You will wear yourself out if you teach your children that you can always do everything for them anytime. Often when I tell my four year old that I can’t help her because I’m feeding the baby, she will freak out, but then a minute later she’s got it figured out by herself.

When I tell my husband I can’t do both the dishes and the laundry before bed, he usually will do one of them. These are shared responsibilities after all, and I don’t need to feel guilty for not being able to do everything.

So if you feel like it’s too hard to do it all, simply say “I can’t” and watch the magic happen as others step in to help.

You might also enjoy: How to Get What You Want from Your Husband

4) Create positive and easy-to-follow routines for your kids.

I don’t know about you, but having a consistent morning and evening routine for the kids can make all the difference in helping us have a good day. Even just a simple check-the-box chart (like this one) is great for developing a consistent routine. You can even make your own pretty easily!

Below is a picture of what has been working well for my 2 and 4 year olds. (I got it off of Etsy here.) Sometimes my four year old will go through her whole morning routine herself without help! These routines are also a great motivator for getting the kids ready for outings or a bedtime story.

These physical routines make it much easier than saying, “Please go potty, get dressed, make your bed, and pray before it’s time to go!” No toddler is gonna remember all that, and no mom is gonna want to say all of that every day. 

5) Be okay with a messy house.

As a mom of three, if you expect the house to be clean most of the time, then you will usually be disappointed. However, if you can have realistic expectations for yourself and your family, then you will be a lot happier.

Remember that a messy house does not define who you are or the kind of mom that you are. It just means that you are living life.

One day, all your kids will be out of the house and on their own, and you will not have to clean up any of their messes. Until that day comes, enjoy having them in your home and being their mom. Don’t let a messy house take away from the joy that can come from motherhood.

You might also enjoy: The Ultimate Guide to Be a Happy Stay-at-Home Mom

6) Schedule help from others.

Towards the end of my third pregnancy, my Midwife advised me to schedule help for every day of the week for the first few weeks postpartum (using the schedule pictured above). This was a big thing to ask, especially since it is sometimes hard for me to ask for help.

However, I took her advice, and I asked for help ahead of time before I entered the postpartum period. It was definitely worth it! I’ll admit I didn’t schedule someone to help me every single day of the week. However, asking in advance made accepting help postpartum much easier.

Knowing I was becoming a mom of three, there were many offers to make meals, watch the kids, or help clean. When I accepted these offers for help it made my life easier and happier. On the flip side, those who served me seemed happy that I accepted their help.

6) Do something every day that makes you happy.

I learned from the book, The Empowered Wife, that it is super important as women to do something every day that makes us happy just for the sake of being happy.

Not sure what makes you happy? Start by making a list. Only put things on the list you truly enjoy doing while you are doing them, not just the aftereffect.

Your list could include small things like lighting a nice smelling candle, or it could include extravagant activities like going to a salon. Bubble baths, window shopping, eating chocolate, and putting on a fun pair of earrings could also be on the list. 

Trust me, doing things that make you happy will help you be more joyful, present, and energy-filled as a mom of 3.

7) Listen to your body.

If you need to nap, make a way for yourself to nap. If you need a snack, eat. If you think you are getting sick, give yourself permission to rest extra and pause the household chores.

Your body will tell you what you need, so listen to it like you would a toddler asking for water or a snack. Yes this is harder with three children, but you will be happier and less anger-prone if you do this!

You might also enjoy: Mom Anger Management Tips

8) Take advantage of delivery/pick-up services.

I’ve learned that going shopping with 3 kids is not something I want to do every week, at least not yet! Taking advantage of the Walmart+ 30 day free delivery trial and free pick up services have saved me so much time and energy. 

You can also use DoorDash or other food delivery services when you need extra help feeding your family. Yes it costs money, but your energy and time are valuable, especially as a mom of 3. So it’s ok to spend a little extra to save on what matters most to you and your family. 

9) Tell people what you ACTUALLY need as a baby gift.

If people want to give you baby gifts, don’t say, “No thanks, we got all the baby stuff we need!” People who ask about what you need genuinely want to help, so let them!

If you really don’t need help with baby supplies, tell them instead what you actually need. For example, you could say you need a house cleaner, babysitter, dinners, or money to buy those things. Even if it’s just for the first couple weeks postpartum.

I desperately needed help with meals, cleaning, and childcare after becoming a mom of 3. Even after a couple weeks postpartum, there were plenty of offers to help and I did my best to accept them all. Also I chose to not feel guilty about it, because I deserved the help and I knew God would bless those who served me. 

10) Have a friend or family member to call on when it’s a bad day.

It helps to always have someone you can reach out to when you need extra help. If I’m ever in a pickle, I know I can call on my mom or my trustworthy neighbors for assistance.

If you don’t feel like you have anyone nearby you can trust to help, work on looking for those people. Is there a grandma at church who you know would love to watch your kids? Is there a mom in your play group who has kids the same age as yours? Reach out and see if they’d be willing to help when you’re having a bad day!

11) Be confident in your abilities as a mom of 3!

Becoming a mom of 3 is not the easiest thing in the world, but remember that you are totally capable!

You have had the chance to get used to a little chaos in life with two kids, so you can totally handle another. True, you might not ever have enough hands, but you’ve got a lot more experience under your belt than a first time mom. 

Plus, God sent your children to you for a reason. You were made to be their mom, and they were meant to fit into your family. You’ve got the power of a mother’s intuition and God on your side. If you have those two things, you can do anything as a mom.

If you struggle in your self confidence as a mom of 3, try utilizing the power of positive affirmations. Write down affirmations you want to believe such as, “I am a strong and capable mom.” Then put them in places where you will see them and where you can recite them to yourself regularly. Even if you don’t believe them at first, you will start to the more you read them!

Need examples of positive affirmations for moms? The Life Blog has some great ones!

Not sure if you’re a good mom? Check out my blogpost, 11 Signs You’re a Good Mom (even if you don’t think so) and let me prove you wrong!

You Are Enough

The journey ahead as a mom of 3 is going to be filled with ups and downs. Amidst it all, remember that you are enough. God has given you all the tools you need to mother these three beautiful children. He trusts you with this divine calling, and He won’t leave you alone in fulfilling it.