What to do When Your Husband Stops Believing in God

My husband doesn’t know if He believes in God or Jesus anymore. Starting about 3 years ago, he slowly let go of aspects of his faith and one might say he is agnostic.

I am a devout Christian and member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, so this hasn’t been easy for me. I’ve had my fair share of tears, prayers, and worries.

However, you may be surprised to hear that our marriage is strong and happy as we are learning to navigate our now interfaith marriage.

If your husband has stopped believing in God, you may feel angry, confused, lonely, or afraid. I understand all of those feelings and I hope that the principles I learned in my journey will help you in your’s. Here is what I recommend for you if your husband has stopped believing in God:

If you would like specific advice for you own situation, I am here to help. You can schedule a free coaching call with me here.

1. Strengthen Your Relationship with God and Jesus

You can’t change your husband’s relationship with God and Jesus, but you can strengthen your own. So keep studying the scriptures. Keep praying. Keep your promises with God. Keep going to Church. Attend the Temple regularly (if applicable). 

Even if your husband doesn’t keep all of God’s commandments, make it clear that you always will. He may not say it, but he will be inspired as he watches you live your faith despite opposition. 

My relationship with my Father in Heaven and Savior has made my husband’s faith struggles feel so much lighter. Without Their support or my commitment to my faith, it would have all been miserable. But this supposed burden I carry doesn’t feel like a burden at all. Most of the time, I can’t even feel it. Jesus carries it for me and helps me feel joy and hope every day (Mosiah 24:14-15).

2. Pray For Him and (if possible) With Him

Nothing can replace praying for your husband. Praying for him is an act of faith that can bring miracles from God. Talking to Heavenly Father about your husband can also help you understand and love your husband more.

If your husband is open to it, make an effort to pray with him. Even if your husband stopped believing in God, praying with him can strengthen your relationship with each other and perhaps strengthen his faith. However, if your husband doesn’t want to pray with you, don’t force the issue. Respect his wishes and say a silent prayer for him in your heart.

3. Focus on the Positive 

As my husband tries to figure out what he believes, I have tried to focus on the good things he is doing. Here’s an example list:

• He prays with our family
• He often goes to Church with us
• He watches our children when I go to the Temple
• He loves our family
• He is a good and honest man 
• He is a wonderful father and husband

When it’s hard to focus on the positive things, write them down. As you focus on the good, it will be a lot easier to feel peace in the moment and hope for the future. 

4. Love and Respect Your Husband

Just because your husband is losing his faith doesn’t mean he is evil and needs the cold shoulder. In reality, he needs even more love and respect from you. Show him that you will love and respect him regardless of whether he believes in God.

Also, remember to respect the free agency God gave your husband. Avoid pressuring or coercing him to live the Gospel or believe in God. 

“Heavenly Father’s goal in parenting is not to have His children do what is right; it is to have His children choose to do what is right, and ultimately become like Him” (Elder Dale G. Renlund, Choose Ye This Day).

As you love your husband and let him choose his own path, you create an environment where your relationship remains strong and faith can grow.

You might also find this helpful: How to Stop Being a Controlling Wife: Key Signs and Tips

5. Teach Your Children the Gospel of Jesus Christ

Even if you teach your children alone, teach them. You have so much influence on your children, and they still need a parent to teach them Jesus Christ’s Gospel. 

If you feel overwhelmed, stick to The Big 3: prayer, scriptures, and Church. Those 3 things are the best things you can do to plant and nurture the seed of faith in your children.

6. Confide in Someone You Trust

Your husband might not understand the hardships you are going through, and you probably won’t totally understand his struggles either. 

Find someone you trust who loves God, you, and your husband. Someone who will root for your marriage and encourage you to stay grounded in your faith. 

For me, this has been my parents and in-laws. Being able to talk to them about the challenges of my husband losing his faith has helped me feel stabilized and supported. I know I am not alone in this, and neither is my husband. They always express love for us and support for our marriage. 

Now, not everyone can confide in their parents and have a healthy outcome. Use discretion and listen to the Holy Ghost for guidance as you seek people you trust who you can talk to. You will also need to be wise in how much you share. Some things will still need to be kept between you and your husband.

7. Keep an Eternal Perspective

This life is so short compared to eternity, and our Heavenly Father wants all His children to live with Him again, including your husband. Trust that God is in “relentless pursuit” of your husband, and trust that your husband has his own amazing faith journey to live (Elder Patrick Kearon, God’s Intent is to Bring You Home).

So even if the moment seems bad, remember there are brighter and better days ahead. Better days in this life, and even more glorious days in the eternities to come.

You might also enjoy: Why Marriage Isn’t Easy (for moms and wives)

Believe It Will All Work Out

As my husband has gradually let go of parts of his faith, I have cried and worried and wondered. But when I turn to my Heavenly Father and remember the hope He has given me, I feel peace and joy. 

I know that it will all work out in the end. And I know that this significant challenge in my life is helping me and my husband to eventually become what God wants us to be.  My faith in Jesus Christ is now stronger than it ever was before.

Though it may seem dark and lonely at times, remember that this moment is not eternity. Jesus will carry your burdens as you trust Him, and you can have happiness in your marriage even when it seems impossible. 

If you’re navigating a spouse’s faith transition and feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone. One of the reasons I write about these topics is because I’ve walked this road myself. If you’d like encouragement from someone who understands, I’d love to connect with you. You can schedule a free coaching call with me here.