5 Marriage Goals to Make Your Relationship Last
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Do you feel like your marriage needs an extra something? Maybe it’s gotten a little dull, or maybe you feel like it’s too good to be true and needs a challenge. Making marriage goals is a great way to solve these problems and will help you have a happy marriage that lasts.
Why Should We Make Marriage Goals?
The idea of making marriage goals with your spouse may seem like another daunting task you don’t want to do. Why make goals for your marriage when you each have your own goals, especially if you are already satisfied with your relationship?
I’ll tell you why.
Just like all other things in life, marriage deteriorates over time unless it is taken care of. (This concept is also known as “entropy” and has been proven to be true countless times.)
If you don’t water the garden for a day or two, the flowers will probably still look pretty. But if you leave them for a week or a month, they will get wilty and eventually die. It’s the same with marriage.
If you want your marriage to last the rest of your life, then it is so important that you make marriage goals with your spouse. Making goals in marriage will help your relationship to keep progressing and get you through the boring stages of marriage.
5 Marriage Goals to Make it Last
Here are some marriage goals that will help you and your spouse have a stronger and happier marriage that lasts.
1. Learn how to communicate effectively and appropriately.
I don’t know if there is any couple that couldn’t improve their communication skills. Communication is more than just talking. It also includes listening, nonverbal communication, body language, understanding what someone said, and responding appropriately.
If you can learn to communicate in a positive and effective way with your spouse, then your marriage will be so much more fulfilling. After all, who wants to live with someone whom they don’t understand or feel understood by?
Here are some blogposts and books that can help you improve your marital and communication:
- How to Avoid Misunderstanding Your Partner (This blogpost has helpful tips if you struggle to understand why your spouse does or says certain things.)
- How to Effectively Communicate Your Feelings (A simple step-by-step guide on how to share your real feelings with your spouse without causing a fight.)
- 4 Essential Keys to Effective Communication (A great book that helps you recognize and overcome communication barriers, along with a 12-day communication challenge.)
- Communication in Marriage: How to Communicate with Your Spouse Without Fighting (This book is especially helpful if you struggle to talk with your spouse without having a heated argument.)
- Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life (Another helpful book that assists you in changing the way you think and act so that you can have more effective and kind communication.)
2. Keep love alive.
This may seem too simple of a marriage goal, but I assure you it is critical for a lasting relationship. If you don’t keep working to keep love and friendship alive, your marriage will become dull and may eventually die.
So figure out what you will do to keep love alive. What seems boring and rote in your marriage? Make a goal to work on that. It may mean trying something you haven’t done before.
Need fresh ideas? I highly recommend this date ideas book. It addresses the needs and desires of both husband and wife, and it gives couples unique ideas on how to feel more intimate and keep love alive.
You might also like: How to Reignite the Spark in Your Marriage.
3. Learn to speak each other’s love languages.
Learning to understand your spouse’s love language may take a lifetime, especially since love languages may change overtime. However, it is a great way to learn what your spouse’s emotional needs are and how you can help meet them.
First, I recommend going to this website to figure out what your love languages are. Make sure you and your spouse both take the quiz to discover your love languages and share the results with each other.
Second, read The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman with your spouse so that you can better understand how to show love for each other.
Finally, make an action plan on how you are going to better show love for each other by following Gary Chapman’s advice.
4. Put God first in your marriage.
When you make a marriage goal to put God first in your marriage, you will be able to love each other more. God is the author of love, so why not go to Him to receive that marital boost you need?
You can read 5 Ways to Put God First in Your Marriage to learn how you can put God first in your marriage and why it is so important.
5. Make a marriage goal to serve others as a couple.
Researchers have found that couple identity and strength is enhanced when they work together to nurture others or contribute to their communities. In other words, serving others can help marriage stay strong! (The reference to the study can be found here.)
I have had many wonderful experiences serving others with my husband. These experiences have strengthened our relationship and made serving more exciting.
One way you can serve together is by volunteering in the community. If you need ideas on where to start, check out this list or go to justserve.org.
Tips on Setting Goals for Your Marriage
1. Limit the number of marriage goals you make.
Making too many goals can leave you feeling overwhelmed, unsuccessful, and frustrated. Make sure that you only pick the most important marriage goals for your relationship and focus your energy on achieving those.
It may help to make a list of all the goals you want to achieve and then cross off the ones that aren’t top priority for your relationship.
2. Keep yourselves accountable.
Make sure that you and your spouse regularly check in on how your marriage goals are going. This could be a scheduled meeting (like a couple council, which you can learn more about in this blog post under #6) or a casual daily check-in before going to bed.
While phone and calendar reminders are great options, make sure that you are still regularly talking about your marriage goals with each other. I have found face-to-face interactions to be much more effective than an alarm on my phone which can be easily ignored.
3. Make sure you are both committed.
When deciding which goals to make for your marriage, be sure that you are both committed to those goals. If only one of you is interested in pursuing a goal, potential conflict could arise and the goal will remain unachieved. Remember that success is more likely when you are unified in your decision and share enthusiasm for the goal you’ve set.
4. Be open to changing your goals.
After working on your marriage goals for some time, make sure to re-evaluate how things are going and be open to making changes if necessary. If you feel like one goal is already achieved, then check it off your list! If there is a goal that seems impossible, narrow it down a little more.
These are your marriage goals, so you two have the freedom to make changes and let go of what is not important.
5. Pray for help.
Remember to involve God in your goals! I have discovered that asking God to help us achieve our goals has only helped us. He can make it easier, help you to not forget, and get you further than you ever would have gotten on your own.
You Can Do It!
I wish you the best in making and working towards your marriage goals! Remember that the end goal is to create a happy and lasting relationship, so don’t stress if you don’t achieve all your goals 100%. Just have fun, do your best, and enjoy your spouse!