The Ultimate Guide to be a Happy Stay-at-Home Mom

Learning to be a happy stay-at-home mom is not always easy. While we love to be with our kids, it can be challenging to be a happy mom in the mundane and repetitive work we do. It is easy to feel under-appreciated, overworked, and distressed. 

However, there is a way to find daily happiness as a stay-at-home mom! Here’s a guide that will help you find ways to find happiness even when the house is a mess, the kids are throwing tantrums, and you are at your wit’s end.

Remember that Happiness is a Choice

Did you know that you choose your emotions every day? It might be hard to believe, but you have control over how you feel! Of course there are always moments where it is easier to be frustrated, disappointed, upset, or miserable. However, you have the power to change your outlook on life and choose to be happy.

Now, I’m in no way saying that you should never be frustrated, disappointed, upset, or miserable. Those emotions have a rightful place in each of our lives. But there’s a time when they don’t need to be there. Recognize when those feelings are unnecessary and dismiss them to make room for joy.

How do I choose to be a happy mom?

Choosing to be happy definitely takes practice and can be hard. Here are some things you can try to help you choose happiness:

1. Find something to be grateful for.

Sometimes finding joy is as simple as recognizing the blessings you have. For instance, I often get frustrated because the house is difficult to keep clean. However, I feel much better when I remind myself that I would rather be living in our home that we own than our teeny rental we lived in before. 

The same goes for frustration with children. If you’re feeling upset because the kids won’t get into bed, remind yourself how blessed you are to have healthy, happy kids who love you.

2. Practice mindfulness.

Mindfulness can be a great way to re-center yourself, get out of your head, and enjoy the present. A great way to practice mindfulness is to notice what is around you without having judgmental thoughts. This exercise is a great tool if you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed. You will often find things you love about your life and feel much calmer after you’re done.

Here’s one way to practice mindfulness:

1. Take a couple deep breaths to calm yourself down.
2. Look around and notice what you see. Take in the fullness of your vision. If you’re inside, notice the walls, the ceiling, the floor, and what is on or around them. Appreciate all that is around you and each item’s purpose. 
3. Take note of what you hear. Are there children screaming or laughing? Is there a microwave buzzing? Is the A/C running? Find the beauty in each of those sounds.
4. What do you feel? What does it feel like to sit or stand where you are? Is the air warm or cold? What do your clothes feel like?
5. Notice what you smell. Maybe you smell food, a stinky diaper, or nothing.
6. What do you taste? What flavor is in your mouth?

This exercise is simple enough that it can be fine any time of day regardless of where you are or what you’re doing. Use it as often as you need.

You can also look up mindfulness exercises online. This one is great for moms!

3. Treasure the little moments.

Remember that these moments won’t last forever, so enjoy them! Your kids will not be the same age forever, and they one day will no longer live with you.

Think of each day as a precious gift from God to spend with your kids. Focus on developing a healthy relationship with them. Create memories that will help you look back without regret on how you spent your time with them.

Make Sure Your Needs are Met

The saying, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy” didn’t become popular for no reason! It is absolutely true that if you want a happy family, you need to make sure you are taken care of. Here are some needs that I recommend you work on meeting:

Physical Needs

Make sure you understand your personal physical needs. Every woman’s body is different, and therefore every woman’s physical needs are different. Needs can also change over time and depending on whether you are pregnant.

As you address your physical needs, strive to love your body more! As women, we often struggle to love our bodies, especially after having children. If you need help loving your body, check out this post or this book.

1. Exercise

Exercise is so important to your well being as a person, but especially as a state-at-home mom. 

It is often too easy to stay at home all day while the kids play and you clean or cook. However, this can drain your energy if you aren’t exercising regularly. Even just a couple days a week of 20 minute work-outs can make a huge difference in your mood, health, and energy levels.

I typically have a lot of energy and love to get it out by going on a run. When I want to run, I usually talk to my husband the night before about watching our daughter so I can run by myself. Planning ahead makes it more intentional and more likely to happen. 

When I’m pregnant and running doesn’t feel like a good option, going on a walk with my daughter, doing yoga, or doing some Zumba helps my physical needs to be met.

2. Get out of the house

Cabin fever can be one of the worst feelings as a stay-at-home mom. Make it a priority to get out of the house and do something with your kids! It’s a great way to reset and get any negative or extra energy out. It could be as simple as walking around a grocery store or visiting a nearby park.

3. Eat well

Make sure you are eating a well-balanced diet. Buy foods that are great for your body and that you love (not just food your kids love). If you are happy while you eat and feel good afterwards, then you’ve found the food that will make you a happy mama!

Spiritual Needs

Just like your body needs nourishment, so does your spirit! Here are a few ways you can take care of your spirit to help you be a happy stay-at-home mom:

1. Pray

It is so important to connect with God on a daily basis. We need His love and strength to help us be the happy mom He wants us to be. 

While prayer is wonderful, it can often become rote and boring. Here are some things to pray about that will not leave you wondering what to say: 

• Tell God what you love about each of your kids and your husband. Be very specific.
• Ask God to help you feel His love for a specific child you may be struggling to parent. Then pause to listen.
• Pray for specific attributes or gifts you need (like patience, compassion, or strength), and watch for changes in your life to take place.
• Keep a prayer journal. Write down questions you have for God and the answers He gives you.

2. Meditate

The basics of meditation are just to focus on your breath. When you are going through a stressful moment or just need some peace, get in a comfortable position and just breathe. Don’t think about or do anything else. Set a timer if needed.

You can also use guided meditation exercises on YouTube or Alexa to help you out. This is a great way to get in tune with your spiritual needs.

3. Study the scriptures 

Studying the word of God has been a huge help to me as a stay-at-home mom. There are days where I don’t read more than five minutes, but there are other days where I can sit for 15-20 minutes and soak in what God is trying to tell me. 

If I have a particular concern, I like to search for scripture verses that will address my needs and answer my questions. Studying the scriptures regularly has been a big strength to me and helps me to remember that God is my Father and He will help me.

Intellectual Needs

Strive to always be learning something. I am a happier mom when I feel like I’m improving my knowledge and wisdom. Here are a few ways you can do that:

1. Listen to podcasts

Podcasts are such a convenient way to learn! You can listen while you cook, clean, or drive. 

Not sure where to start? I love listening to the Go Diaper Free Podcast, the Evidence Based Birth Podcast, and the Better than Happy Podcast. They have each helped me to work towards my parenting, personal, and business goals. 

2. Read or listen to books

Reading is a little hard for me which is why I like to listen to books. But if you got some down time (or want to make down time), then start reading! Check out a book at your library or listen to a book on Amazon’s Audible. (You can get a free trial here.) Even fictional books can help fill your intellectual needs.

3. Take an online class

There are countless online classes that you can take with universities or online businesses. A lot of them are pretty affordable too! This is a great way to get out of your comfort zone and stretch your learning capacity in whatever subject you’re interested in. 

4. Learn a new hobby

I feel like there are so many moms looking for new hobbies to have. I believe it’s because of the joy and fulfillment it brings them. (This is partially why I started blogging.) Check out Pinterest or Google, and you can find dozens of ideas. 

Social Needs

Since you are with your kids every day, it is important that you have some time away from them or some time with other people. It will help you stay sane and happy to be with your kids.

1. Spend time with your husband

Make sure your social needs are met by having regular dates with your husband and spending quality time with him. If you neglect your marriage, then your family will eventually fall apart.

2. Hang out with your girl friends

Connecting with other women can bring a lot of joy in a mom’s life. Even though my husband is my best friend, I still need time with other women. Scheduling play dates with other moms can fill your social cup and help you connect with people going through similar challenges as you.

How do I Make Sure all of My Needs are Met?

Making sure all of your needs are met as a full-time mom is no easy task. Looking at this long list of your needs probably doesn’t help you feel any better. Here is how you can go about making sure your needs are met:

1. Prioritize what is most important to you.

It is going to be hard to have your spiritual, intellectual, social, and physical needs met all at once. So focus first on what you feel like you need most in your life. Which one are you neglecting? What are you most in need of to be a happy stay-at-home mom? Focus on that until it becomes a habit or until you have higher needs that need to be met.

2. Don’t let your happiness be dependent on meeting all your needs.

As a stay-at-home-mom, it is sometimes impossible to accomplish everything on your to-do list. When there are days you don’t have all your needs met, refer to my first suggestion and remember that happiness is a choice. 

You can choose to be a happy stay-at-home mom even when you haven’t showered, are hungry, and the kids are uncontrollable. Yes, it takes a lot more effort, but you can do it. Of course you should try to have your needs met, but remember the power of choice when your tank is running on low.

3. Communicate with your husband and kids about your needs.

If you don’t tell your husband and kids what your needs are, they are going to be harder to meet. It’s not selfish if you tell your kids to leave you alone so you can finish your workout. Talk to them about exactly what you need, why you need it, and how they can help you. Make a plan as a family to have your needs met.

My mom took a nap every day (and still does) when I was growing up. She still makes it clear today that she needs that nap and doesn’t apologize for that need. I admire her for prioritizing her needs so she could be happy and available to serve her family.

4. Have realistic expectations.

Don’t expect everything to go smooth once you start prioritizing your own needs. There is going to be an adjustment needed from the whole family, and there might be some negative feedback. 

Don’t give up if this happens. Remind yourself and your family why this is important and stick with it. Make tweaks to the plan as needed, but don’t give up on taking care of you.

Now Go be Your Best Happy Self!

You got this, mama! Keep pushing forward and fight for happiness! You deserve to be a happy stay-at-home mom, and it is up to you to make it happen.