8 Tips on How to Help your Husband be a Good Dad
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Being a parent with your husband can be a very rewarding experience, but it can also be very stressful. Trying to figure out how to parent together can be a tricky process, and it may become discouraging if you don’t feel like your husband is a good enough dad.
If you are concerned about your husband’s parenting style (or just want to help him improve), then here are some ways that you can help your husband be a good dad.
How to Help your Husband to be a Good Dad
1) Pray for him
Praying for your husband to be a good dad is one of the best things you can do for him. God knows your husband’s strengths and weaknesses, and He can help your husband be the best father he can be.
While it seems simple, that small act of faith can do wonders for your husband. God can help him in a way that you can’t. He can also help you see just how good of a father your husband is becoming.
2) Don’t interfere with his parenting
Let him do things differently than you. Your husband is a different person than you are, and therefore He will not parent exactly like you. AND THAT’S OKAY.
Studies show that moms and dads treat their kids differently, and that it’s actually good for the kids’ development. Mothers generally interact with their kids in a nourishing and affectionate manner, while fathers tend to interact with their kids more physically, such as in “rough and tumble” play. There are other instinctive ways men and women are different that will influence their parenting, and that’s not a bad thing.
As long as there is no physical or verbal abuse, don’t interfere! Interfering unnecessarily will make your husband feel like he’s doing it wrong and result in him being a less involved father.
So don’t you dare stop your husband from playing rough with the kids or being the good father his instincts tell him to be!
3) Listen to his thoughts on parenting techniques
Your husband will likely have his own ideas on what parenting should look like, so listen to his ideas! And more importantly: DON’T IMMEDIATELY SHUT HIS IDEAS DOWN IF YOU DON’T LIKE THEM.
Who knows, your husband may have an idea that could make your parenting life a lot easier!
When our 4-year-old was being overly possessive of her room and toys, my husband recommended we have her share a room with our 2-year-old.
At first I thought it was a bad idea and that it would make things worse. But we decided to try it and now our older daughter is not as possessive of her space or stuff as she was before! In fact, it has been a very positive experience having our girls share a room even though it wasn’t necessary.
I’m glad I listened to my husband’s idea (even if it took a few days for me to warm up to it).
4) Express appreciation for what he does
Express appreciation for what your husband does as a father. Help him know how grateful you are that he is the father he is. Tell him thank you for changing diapers, calming crying children, and entertaining the kids. Dr. Meg Meeker says that compliments and appreciation will help him feel more confident and feel like he can be a better dad.
When he knows the good he does as a father is appreciated and noticed, he is more likely to keep doing those things. (And he’ll possibly take it to the next level and do even more!)
5) Don’t nag
If you want to help your husband be a good dad, then AVOID NAGGING!
Nagging includes reminding him to do something that is obvious or unnecessary, or asking him multiple times if he completed the same task. Nagging also includes micro-managing his interactions with the kids.
Since nagging can have such a negative effect on a man’s self esteem and happiness, I wrote an entire blogpost on how to stop being a nagging wife. You can read more here to find out if you are a nagging wife, what it means to nag, and how to stop nagging.
6) Trust him
Trust is a magical thing. When you choose to step back and believe in your husband, his potential for becoming a better father will increase significantly! Remember that he is your kids’ parent too, and he is fully capable of raising them.
Here are a few ways you can show trust in your husband’s abilities as a father:
- Let him dress the kids. If the clothes are mismatched, don’t make him feel dumb or bad about it.
- Allow him the opportunity to put the kids to bed on his own every once in a while. Could be a couple times a week or once a month. (Preferably when you aren’t home.)
- When you leave your kids home with your husband, don’t treat him like a babysitter with a list of do’s and do not’s. If he needs help with something, he will ask.
- If he is playing with the kids outside, don’t feel like you have to check on him. If you genuinely want to enjoy watching your husband play with your kids, go for it! But if you feel the need to monitor him, stop it!
7) Listen to him vent without judgement
If he’s had a hard time with the kids, validate his feelings without judging. Instead of saying, “well now you know what I deal with every day,” try something like, “Yeah, it’s really tough sometimes. I’m sorry it’s so hard.”
If you make your husband feel stupid or inadequate for struggling, then he may feel like giving up on trying to be a good dad. Good dads are allowed to have a hard time.
8) Act happy when your husband comes home
Show your children it’s a great thing when Dad is home. When you are happy to see him, your kids will also learn it is a happy thing. As a result, your husband will be happier to be home.
You may be tired or hungry, but still make an effort to help him be glad to be with his family. If your husband comes home to a hangry wife every day, being home with you and the kids won’t be as enjoyable for him.
Extra tip! While having dinner as a family is super important to me, it is also important that we are happy when Chase comes home. So if everyone is hungry and he still won’t be home for 30 minutes, I have us start eating so that he can walk into a happy home and feel ready to be an awesome dad.
You might also enjoy: Ideas to Make Father’s Day Special for Your Husband
Now Go Watch Your Husband be a Great Dad!
If you have read this whole blogpost, you probably noticed that if you want to help your husband be a good dad, you should not give him tons of advice or monitor his parenting. However, you SHOULD step back and let him be the dad he already knows how to be.
True, your husband will not be a perfect dad. And there will be parenting-related decisions you should make as a team. But if you avoid interfering with his interactions with the kids and trust him, he will be the best dad he knows how to be.
In other words, step back from trying to make your husband a good father and watch how he already is one.
If you enjoyed this blogpost and would like 3 free tips to stop resenting your husband and start adoring him again, go here!