Why You Should be Praying Together as a Couple
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We all have access to God, the most powerful Being in the universe, and yet many couples do not take advantage of that when they want to improve their relationships.
I know from experience that praying together as a couple can bring miracles, joy, and peace into relationships. Research also proves that prayer has a positive influence on couple relationships. For the best results, you need to be sincere and willing to do what God guides you to do.
Reasons You Should be Praying Together as a Couple
1. You will have more unity in your relationship.
Praying together as a couple can help you be more unified.
A research study done in 2012 proved this point. In this study, the first group of participants prayed with or for their partner twice a week for 4 weeks, and the second group of participants were assigned to discuss positive news or stories for a specified amount of time.
The results? The first group (the ones who prayed with or for their partner) felt more unity with their partner than the second group.
How does praying together unify couples?
When you are praying together as a couple, it is an opportunity to voice your deepest desires and concerns to God with your spouse listening. It is a chance for them to hear things that you might not normally say out loud.
When I pray with my husband, it is a reminder to me that we both believe in God and we both trust that He can help us. Even if we have differing opinions or desires in other aspects of life, that belief remains the same.
Before praying together, my husband and I will sometimes ask each other what we should pray for. I find that this brings more unity into our relationship because we are trying to be on the same page while talking with God. It becomes a couple prayer, and not just an individual prayer.
2. You will trust each other more.
Couples who pray together are more likely to trust each other. The same research study mentioned above proved this to be true with the participants who prayed for four weeks.
Mark Merrill also says that praying together increases trust with your spouse. He explains that, “trust is built on how we respond to being vulnerable with each other.”
When you pray with your spouse or partner for the deepest desires of your heart, you are being vulnerable with them. If they react positively by being supportive and maybe by praying for that same thing on your behalf, it increases trust between the two of you.
3. You will deal with conflict better.
I have found (and so has research!) that prayer is a great resource for conflict resolution.
One study published in 2004 researched how prayer affected the interactions of religious couples during conflict. Their findings are fascinating! Here’s what the researchers discovered from the couples they interviewed:
- Prayer facilitates problem solving and reconciliation
- Prayer calms hostile emotions
- Prayer reduces tendencies to react negatively
- Prayer helps couples to have empathy
- Prayer helps couples to have an unbiased perspective
- Prayer increases a focus on self-change (rather than trying to change their spouse)
Well, I don’t know about you but all those skills that prayer can give couples sound super handy when dealing with conflict. (Especially empathy and less hostile emotions!)
David B. Haight also shared how praying together as a couple can help with conflict resolution:
“If, as husband and wife, you are having serious misunderstandings or if you feel some strain or tension building up in your marriage, you should humbly get on your knees together and ask God our Father, with a sincere heart and real intent, to lift the darkness that is over your relationship, that you may receive the needed light, see your errors, repent of your wrongs, forgive each other, and receive each unto yourselves as you did in the beginning. I solemnly assure you that God lives and will answer your humble pleas.”
David B. Haight
4. Praying together strengthens faith.
Couples who pray together for answers to questions or desires to be met will often find their faith is strengthened when they see God answer their prayers.
My husband and I have felt the faith-strengthening power of couple prayer after my husband graduated from college. He was looking for a job in the midst of the COVID pandemic. We also were expecting a baby and moving to Utah so that I could finish school at BYU.
We spent a lot of time praying together as a couple for my husband to find a job. He applied to over 150 jobs and only had a couple interviews. We continued our prayers. We felt like we should just make the move and trust that God would provide him with a job.
A couple days after we moved to Utah, my husband got a phone call with a job offer. We were thrilled! We witnessed firsthand that God answers prayers, and our faith was strengthened. The experience also brought us closer together as a couple.
What if my spouse doesn’t believe in God?
If your spouse doesn’t believe in God, then keep on praying with your spouse if they are willing, or pray on your own. The Bible states:
“For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband…”
1 Corinthians 7:14
In short, keep your belief and faith alive through prayer, and it may just strengthen your spouse’s. If nothing else, it will keep more of the light of Christ alive in your life, and it will bless your spouse.
Just because your husband or wife has let go of their relationship with God doesn’t mean that you should. When they see that you continue to nurture your faith and relationship with God, it will likely inspire them, even if they don’t admit it.
As you grow closer to your Father in Heaven, He will guide you to know how to be a better companion and strength to your spouse. Your relationship will prosper through your efforts to stay close to God through prayer.
5. Your love for each other will grow stronger.
Couples who pray together may find that their love grows stronger for each other. As couples pray together sincerely for their relationship and for each other, God will bless them with a greater capacity to love.
Gordon B. Hinckley said that when you pray together:
“Your companionship will sweeten through the years; your love will strengthen. Your appreciation for one another will grow.”
Gordon B. Hinckley
So need a boost in your relationship? Then start praying together as a couple! If you are praying together already, then start praying more specifically for God to bless your relationship, and I promise He will.