11 Signs You’re a Good Mom (even if you don’t think so)

Are You a Good Mom? 

My goal today is to help you know that if you are trying, then you are a good mom. If you care about your kids, then you are a good mom. If you wonder if you’re a good mom, then you are a good mom.

Only a few of the points below may apply to you. If so, you are still a good mom.

Was This Woman a Good Mom?

When I was a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I visited a woman in her home. 

As we talked with her, I was appalled by what I saw. 

The floor and couch were covered in a mess of garbage, the house stank like tobacco smoke, and her little boy was wandering around in nothing but a very full diaper.

She didn’t even seem to notice or care that her son was chewing on something small and plastic that was definitely a choking hazard. 

Years later, I have asked myself, “Was she a good mom?” After some thought, I have to say that I don’t know. 

Yes, I believe that she could have improved. Yes, I think she should have changed her son’s diaper. And yes, I definitely think she should have pulled that small piece of plastic out of his mouth. 

But who knows? She may have been having a bad day. She may have been struggling to quit smoking. She may have been emotionally broken when we came to visit.

I don’t know anything else about that woman, and I don’t know whether or not she was a good mom. But I’ll bet that if she had any love for her little boy, that she was doing the best she knew how.

Signs You’re a Good Mom

This blog post is not meant to make you feel guilty or give you a list of things you need to start doing. Rather, I want you to look for the good in yourself and find out what you are already doing. 

Yes, all moms can improve. But we also need to take time to recognize what we are doing right.

Here are signs telling you that you are a good mom.

1. You wonder if you’re a good mom.

“Did I give them a balanced enough meal?” 

“Did I teach them to do that right?”

“Do I yell at my kids too much?”

Ironically, when you wonder, “Am I a good mom?” it doesn’t mean that you are a bad mom. It just means that you care about your kids. You want to be a good mom, and you are trying.

I like how Chelsey puts it from Motherhood and Mayhem: “While you should never beat yourself down about the way you parent, questioning yourself every now and then is simply a reminder that you are striving to be a good mom.”

2. Your child asks you for help.

When your child needs a kiss, a snack, or an answer to a question, they go to you. 

This shows that you have responded enough in the past for your child to know they can trust you. They know that Mom will help them and be there when they have a need.

3. The house is rarely spotless. 

You care more about your kids learning, exploring, and playing than a perfectly tidy house. Of course, the messes most likely bother you, but it doesn’t stop you from giving attention to your kids and letting them play.

This doesn’t mean that it’s ok to have a house that is so messy it’s not safe. It just means that the house looks lived in.

4. You try to take care of yourself, too.

Self care is so important in motherhood! If you don’t care for yourself, then it is so much harder to care for your kids. 

There are times that you might need to put self-care on the back-burner to help your kids, but you know it is important and you try to make it a priority.

Not sure if all your needs are being met? This guide to being a happy stay-at-home mom will go through the different needs you have and how to address them.

5. You love your child unconditionally.

Even if your child makes stupid decision after stupid decision, you don’t let it change your love for them.

True, you may not like the choices they make, but you don’t stop loving them for it. 

The book Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn does an exceptional job at teaching parents how to show unconditional love while still discipling their kids. If you have ever wondered how discipline and love can work together in parenting, then I highly recommend this book!

6. You discipline your child.

There are countless disciplining strategies, and I’m not here to tell you which one is the best, because I don’t know.

I’m here to tell you that if you try to help your child make good decisions, you are a good mom.

If you notice when your kid does something wrong and try to help them improve their behavior, you are a good mom.

7.  You have bad days. 

It’s important to know that good moms have bad days, too. And bad weeks. And bad months. 

Just because you are a good mom doesn’t mean that every day will be wonderful. 

You may have negative thoughts, you may lose your patience with your child, or you may forget about a very important appointment. 

Just remember that occasional bad days are normal. You are still a good mom.

(If you experience negative thoughts, especially after having a baby, then you will love the book, Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts, by Karen Kleimen. It will help you feel validated for your thoughts and feel better about yourself.)

8. You do what you think is best, not what someone else thinks is best. 

You and your family are unique, and therefore have unique needs. Good moms know this and filter out any outside advice, and only keep what they believe will be beneficial for their family.

9.  Sometimes you say “yes” and sometimes you say ”no”.

If you are a good mom, you don’t always know when to say “yes” and when to say “no” to your child. However, you don’t default to just one answer. 

Saying “yes” to everything your child asks or “no” to everything they ask are both unhealthy for you and your child. Keeping your child out of danger while still allowing them to have fun and explore provides healthy boundaries and life skills. 

So if “yes” and “no” are both in your parenting vocabulary, then relax! You are a good mom!

10.  You sacrifice for your kids.

Whether it be sleep, going where you want to go, your pre-baby body, or your sanity, you give it up for your kids. 

There may be moments where you wish you could go back to the “good old days” when you could sleep in or go wherever whenever. But remember that the sacrifices you made are what made you who you are and provided your kids with an amazing mom.

Feeling insecure about your post-baby body? Read this blog post to help boost your confidence. 😉

11.  Sometimes you know what you’re doing, and sometimes you don’t.

Finally, you have a solid nap schedule down for your baby! Until a couple months later when he decides he doesn’t want to sleep at that time anymore.

You might figure out what food your toddler likes, until she throws it on the ground the next day.

Once you understand how to get your teen to open up to you, you don’t know what to do when they start having random outbursts.

Even if you are an amazing mom, you still don’t know everything. 

There are days where you will feel like you are Wonder Woman and got it all down. And there will be days that you can’t seem to get anything right. 

No matter what kind of a day it is, remember that you are doing the best you can. You are still a good mom.

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