Spontaneous Ideas to Strengthen Your Parent-Child Relationship

No matter what people say, parents are the number one influencers in their children’s lives. 

Because of this, it is very important that parents work to build and maintain a strong parent-child relationship. 

I know it isn’t easy, and it will be a lifetime of effort. But it is 100% worth it. Since family is one of the only things we can take with us after we die, it is worth putting our blood, sweat, and tears into.

I know it may seem overwhelming so I am giving you a few ways to build your parental relationship with your child that take almost no time and can happen spontaneously.

But before we get into that, let’s talk about the benefits of having a strong relationship with your child.

Benefits of Having a Strong Parent-Child Relationship

1. Stronger relationship with God

Most people view God similarly to how they view their parents. If your child has a positive relationship with you, then it will be easier for them to have a positive relationship with their Father in Heaven. 

So it is up to you to strive to be like God the best you can. How do you do that? By showing unconditional love, setting boundaries, and teaching your child. (Aka, having a strong relationship with your child.)

2. Higher self-esteem

Studies show that a high quality parent-child relationship is likely to help a child have higher self-esteem. [Source.]

And who doesn’t want that for their child?

3. More willing to take risks in life

Studies show that when a child has a reliable parent, they are more willing to take risks. [Source.] So make sure that you are consistently there for your child the best you can be. 

When they feel secure in their relationship with you, they will be more willing to try new things and take on challenges.  

4. Ability to regulate emotions under stress

Children with a strong parental relationship are better able to regulate their emotions amidst change, challenging situations, and other difficulties. [Source.]

5. Healthier relationships with others

When a child has a positive relationship with their parents, they are equipped with the tools and skills it takes to build and maintain a healthy relationship with others. [Source.] They are less likely to manipulate or feel manipulated, and they are less likely to be in an abusive relationship. 

You might also like: 3 Ways to Develop a Healthy Relationship with Your Child

6. Happiness all around!

Not only is your child happier with a strong parental relationship, but you are happier too! There are few things that can bring as much joy as a strong relationship with your child. 

How to Strengthen Your Parent-Child Relationship:

There are countless ways to strengthen parent-child relationships, but these are things you can do even with a busy schedule. Some of these can even be done over the phone if needed. 

1. Empathize with your child.

This is one of the best ways to strengthen your parent-child relationship. Children often make dumb choices. However, those dumb choices could be understood better if you tried to feel what your child feels. 

As you work to empathize with your child, your child will be more willing to listen to you and be less likely to repeat the dumb mistake. They will also know that you care about them and not just what they do.

Here are a few tips for empathizing with your child:

Put yourself in your child’s shoes.

Before you react to the situation, think about what you would have to be thinking and feeling to do what your child is doing. Then come up with an appropriate response. 

(Of course, you may need to remove your child from the situation first. Especially if it is dangerous.)

Validate their feelings often.

This may just mean repeating back exactly what they said.

When my toddler wants something, she will often tell me many times before I give her what she wants. (Even if I said yes!) However, she usually stops repeating the request after I repeat back to her exactly what she said. That’s the magic of validation!

Let them know you care about how they feel. 

This can be done with or without words. Sometimes just pausing to listen shows you care. Or you can say something like, “I’m so sorry. I don’t want you to feel that way.”

2. Stop for 5-15 minutes. 

When you are busy but you haven’t spent much time together, set a timer for 5-15 minutes. Tell your child that you have until the timer goes off to do whatever they want. Talk, play a short game, read a book, eat a yummy snack, etc. 

3. Laugh together.

Find opportunities to laugh together! It could be as simple as showing your child a funny meme on Facebook you saw or telling goofy jokes that don’t make any sense.

4. End of the day reflection.

Before saying good-night, talk about the ups and downs of the day. What did they enjoy? What made them worried? You can share your ups and downs too, and it will help your child feel even more connected to you. 

5. Talk about each other’s feelings. 

When you open up about what you are feeling with your child, it helps them feel more connected to you and learn how to cope with their own emotions. (Just make sure you don’t rely on your child for emotional support.)

Encourage your child to talk about their feelings as well. This is an important part of emotional development and will help them later on in life as they navigate the challenges of adulthood.

Even if you think you know what your child is feeling, let them tell you. Listen to what they have to say, then give guidance and support as needed.

6. Pray together often. 

Praying together is a simple yet powerful way to strengthen your parent-child relationship. As you pray together, let your child hear you pray for them by name.

When I pray with my daughters, I will often tell God how thankful I am for them and ask Him to bless them with specific things I know they need. 

This practice is a great way to share verbal affection and appreciation for your child while also teaching them how to have a relationship with God.

“Just as we want our children to turn to us for counsel and comfort, our Heavenly Father wants us to turn to Him. He asks that we ‘pray always, and be believing’ (D&C 90:24).  When our children kneel with us in prayer and hear our pleadings in their behalf, the foundation of prayer is laid in their own lives.”

churchofjesuschrist.org

You Can Do This!

I know being a parent is hard, and it is easy to feel like you are not good enough. Be assured that if you are trying to do better, then you are doing a good job.

Just keep taking one step at a time to become the parent your child needs you to be and build that strong parent-child relationship.

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