Time With Your Kids: Is it Really Worth It?

As a parent, do you ever wonder if the time you spend with your kid is really worthwhile? It sounds like a terrible question, but let’s be honest – sometimes it may feel like your time would be better spent earning a little extra cash or starting that new hobby you’ve been wanting to do for months or even years now. Especially when the alternative may be calming an inconsolable toddler or trying to reason with a stubborn teenager who thinks they know everything. 

Well, I’m here to tell you that while it is great to earn money and do something you enjoy, your children will benefit from time with you much more than you ever will from working more or joining a book club.

So… how do I know this? It all comes down to our purpose as parents. 

Purpose of Being a Parent

What really is our purpose as parents? Some would say that it is to raise happy, healthy children. Others would say it is to prepare kids to leave home and become successful. Some folks believe that their purpose as a parent is to ensure their child has a better life than they did. 

To answer this question effectively, let’s take a look at God’s purpose. He, in fact, is the parent to all of us. It states in scripture that His purpose is to “bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man”, meaning that we will live in His presence forever. In order to make this happen, God provides us with guidance from prophets, scripture, and loved ones. He also provides us with a way to communicate with Him directly (aka prayer). 

But WHY do we need to communicate with Him if we already know what we need to do in order to live with Him forever? Can’t we just live righteously, return to God, and find Him happy that He fulfilled His purpose? 

Well, maybe. But what is the fun of returning to a Heavenly Father who we don’t even know? Why would we want to be with God if there was no evidence that He was involved in our lives or even cared for us at all? 

The point is, God CARES. He LOVES us. He wants us to talk with Him, cry to Him, think about Him, ask Him advice, listen to His answers, love Him, and feel of His love. God doesn’t want us to come home to Him just so He can check us off the long list of people He is trying to get onto the “nice” list; He desires so badly for us to come home to Him because we are His kids and He loves us deeply. And He does this by providing ways for us to spend time with Him through prayer and showing His love through blessings and miracles.

Likewise, I’m sure that every parent’s dream of having a successful, happy, and healthy child also involves having a child who loves their parent, knows their parent loves them, and will still call to ask for advice after they’ve left the house. 

How do We Fulfill our Parenting Purpose?

So…. how do we accomplish this?? How can we convince our kids that we love them beyond measure and will always be there for them?

The answer is TIME. The time we spend with our children shows them that they mean something to us and are worth more than the other extracurricular activities we are involved in. It shows that we not only care about their success, but that they are valued. It shows that we aren’t just here to help them to survive, but to help them enjoy life. It shows that we don’t just supply them with the necessities and luxuries of life because it is our duty, but because we love them. THIS is what our purpose as parents is.

Although we recognize the importance of building relationships with our kids, it still can be hard to spend time with them, especially quality time. Other important things in life seem to get in our way and make it impossible for us to have time for precious moments. Therefore, it is essential that we figure out how to prioritize time with our children into our schedules. 

Ideas on How to Spend Time with Your Kids

Here’s a few things you can do to spend quality time with your children with a busy (or not so busy) schedule: 

• Go on monthly parent-child dates. My dad was particularly good at this; special outings with my dad were usually pre-planned, and we called them “daddy-daughter dates.” Since one-on-one time with him was not as common as time with my mom, I would get really excited for these dates. For our dates, we would see a musical, go out to eat, or get a treat. As I grew older, I would talk with him about my plans for the future and he would give me some wise counsel and advice for how to handle certain situations. Being Christians and members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we would also talk about God and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. These monthly dates can be as simple as going on a long drive or as elaborate as spending the day at a theme park; the important thing is that you have a chance to connect during the activity. 

• Arrange monthly interviews with each child. My parents felt it was very important for each of us kids to have an interview with my dad once each month. During these interviews, he would check up on us to see how we were doing in various aspects of our lives. He would ask about our relationship with God and about school. The most impactful thing he would do for me is encourage me and tell me he was proud of me. He would also pray for me after the interview was over. Having interviews with your kids is a great chance to evaluate with them how their lives are going and to remind them verbally that you love them and are there for them. 

• Turn daily, mundane events into connection opportunities. This is a great way to spend time with your child no matter how busy you are! Giving your kid a ride to soccer practice? Take this time to ask how school is going, who their friends are, what they are learning, what they are struggling with, etc. This can also be done while doing the dishes, weeding the garden, waiting in line at the grocery store, or folding laundry. 

• Create a meaningful bedtime routine. Instead of a quick “goodnight” or “I’ll see you in the morning” right before going to bed, use bedtime to ask your child how their day went, read a story to them, snuggle with them, sing to them, or pray with them. Obviously what you choose to do will depend on the age and interests of your child, but no matter what you choose, it can help your child to know they can count on one-on-one time with you each day. Kids (especially young ones) LOVE consistency and routines.

• Make the most out of dinner time. Rather than eating dinner in front of the TV or while finishing up work in your office, prioritize dinner time as family time. Make sure all your kids know that dinner time is a special occasion where the family gets to reconnect after a busy day, not a time where each individual is preoccupied with his or her own interests. 

• Play with your kids. Got a spare moment after dinner or before your next meeting? Take that opportunity to play with your kids! Young kids are usually easily pleased, so even just five minutes of your time can bring a smile to their face and remind them that you care about them. Playtime can be anything from being the tickle monster to playing tag outside to working on a jigsaw puzzle together.

• Help them achieve their goals. It makes a huge difference in a kid’s life when they know their parent’s care about their goals. It makes an even bigger impact when the parent goes out of their way to help them hit the ball just right or memorize all fifty vocab words for an upcoming exam. If you have a teen, take time to listen to and be supportive of their dreams and their aspirations for after high school. This encouragement gives kids a boost of confidence knowing that someone believes in them and is there for them.

• Have fun together! Fun activities can include teaching your child a new skill, playing a board game together, going out to eat, going on a bike ride, going for a drive, exercising together, and much more. During the activity, it is important to focus on loving and encouraging each other, rather than bringing up problems or topics of conflict. This will help you and your child feel more deeply connected and know that you care about them for just being your son or daughter.

The Time You Spend With Your Kids Really Does Matter!

Children and teens thrive on connection and belonging that comes from quality time. It helps them to have higher self-esteem, motivation, and discover their purpose in life. Of course, no parent is perfect and able to meet all of their child’s needs, but what matters is that they care and that they are trying.

So show that love to your child by spending quality time with them on a regular basis, even if it is just five minutes at a time. It will impact their lives more than you know.